Deck the Silent Jingle.

"It's coming on Christmas,

They're cutting down trees,

They're putting up Reindeer,

And singing songs of Joy & Peace,

Oh, I wish I had a river,

I could skate away on.

But it don't snow here,

It stays pretty green,

I'm gunna make a lot of money,

Then I'm gunna quit this crazy scene,

I wish I had a river,

I could skate away on."

Christmas was yesterday. Above, just there, is our Tree. One of two. Mum yelled at me for making it took 'sick'. It's plastic, though. Real, dead, trees mess with my alergies and are "too messy". Mum made me decorate the house on Christmas Eve. I'm not sure why, but I did. While on the ladder, my little brother walks out and said "on TV, they said ladders are more dangerous that Terrorists". I didn't really want to know that, but I suppose ladders are more frequently experienced than Terrorists.

I got a few things, all of which I like. No camera or Turtleneck sweater, but I did get some books and pavalova. Callan came up to see us, but mainly slept. Aden complained about the 'texture of ham'. I yelled at the Television for referring to Warren Zevon as a 'One-hit Wonder'. I strongly disagree. He had two 'best of' albums. Poor, dead, Warren. Skanky, fake-tanned, wannabe music-buffs have stained your illustrious name. You're a Genius.

"I've got a bitter pot of 'je ne sais quoi'

Guess what - I'm stirring it with a Monkey's Paw

...

Mata Hari had a house in France,

Where she worked on all her secret plans,

Men were falling for her sight unseen,

She was a Genius.

There's a face in every window of the Songwriter's Neighbourhood,

Everyone's your best friend when you're doing well - I mean, good,

The poet who lived next door when you were young and poor,

Grew up to be a backstabbing Entrepreneur.

Your protege don't care about art,

I'm the one who always told you you were smart,

You broke my heart into smithereens,

And that took Genius.

You and the Barber make a handsome pair,

Guess what - I never liked the way he cut your hair,

I didn't like the way he turned your head,

But there's nothing I can do or say, I haven't done or said

...

If I could clean my record,

I'd be a Genius."

Adios.