Trials

"And people make you nervous,

You'd think the world is ending,

And everybody's features have somehow started blending,

And everything is plastic,

And everyone's sarcastic,

And all your food is frozen,

It needs to be defrosted."

I am so out of whack when it comes to these exams. I'm losing so much sleep. I'm used to a neat 9 hours. Now, I'm still waking up at 5:45 as usual, but I'm going to bed at 10-11 and forcing myself through the cold morning to get to school. Although the walk does wake me out. Packs a punch. I saw the Smoking Lady today. I always smell her before I see her and the sky above her house always seems more grey than anywhere else. She never waves, but her cat sleeps on her foot and her hair looks asthough she slept well. Still, everyday; smoke in hand, frowning at the ground like it disappoints her and not even my most enthusiastic "Good Mornin'!" can move her. It's my walk each morning that makes my day. My mood is near completely influenced by the sky, the strangers, the trees and the music my iPod chooses. Today I got a chain of depressing songs, and then WHAM! 'None Of Them Knew They Were Robots' by Mr. Bungle started playing. Cheered me up. The colder and bleaker the day, the happier I am. It kind of puts things in perspective and makes me think "Thank God I'll be in a warm classroom"... most importantly though, cold & bleak make for great photographs. This is today.

I do so enjoy the cold and rain. Walking in the rain is such a great experience. I love getting to school, drenched, and having it cause a conversation with someone I rarely talk to, allowing me to say "Yes, I am wet. Quite. Goodbye." Not to mention it feels, sounds and looks cool. My sunglasses become rainglasses. Genius.

So these trials have really demotivated me. I feel like a... okay, honestly I have no metaphor, but I whole-heartedly blame the trials for my lack of substance. English-1 was suprisingly easy, Senior Science was tragically easy, Biology was pleasantly easy, Maths was typically easy... but English-2 was a whore. A dirty whore. I managed to achieve the 3 page per question quota, but my wrist hurts and I feel like I failed. I didn't write particularly well. Lack of quotes, excessive bull-shit. I still have Modern History, which is basically "remember 30 odd years of events, the people involved, the actions taken, the thoughts on these actions, the actions due to the thoughts, opinions on the thoughts and actions, reactions to the actions and reasons why different actions lead to thoughts and inversely thoughts to action at each time within different times in history due to what ever reason." It's terrible and I do bad. This stress may push me back to cooking. My Cooking used to be pushed into a photo album on Facebook but has long been ignored. Maybe I should reopen it. I love making food that tastes terrible but making it look delicious. I get people saying "OMG, I totes want to eat your cake, lol, it looks 2 good 4 it to be discussed within a social networking forum... lol, OMG, lol." I think to myself how it tasted of toothpaste. Its a challange beautifying such fragile things as pies. Pie sculpting is a true art... especially that Strawberry Pie I made with the image of Abraham Lincoln with a Samurai Sword on it... that took ages. Not to mention...

Yes, ain't that the truth! Hallelujah!...

So, that be it for today, me thinks.

Adios.