About Me

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I'm Ryan, and I don't particularly understand the importance of a Blog... but I'll Blog away anyway. Positively, it gives me a wall to talk to. I like having formation and fluency in my day. 'About Me'?... just read the Blog.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

(Double Feature) Toy Plastic Ring

Life is limited. Look beyond the exams and I have done very little (despite liberating Las Vegas from the mysterious and shadowy Mr R.E. House, waking a robotic army, making friends with a Ghoul named Raul (Raul the Ghoul) and, of course, watching a handful of great films).
Two points of intrest, the components to this literary duplex;
Eins; I did wedding photography and earned $100 for eating, drinking and sliding around on the floor with a camera glued to my face.
Zwei; Halloween. I liked seeing kids trying to Trick or Treat and learning Australians don't give out candy ALMOST as much as I loved naming them 'Halloweeners'. I wish Australia had more customs like that. I feel my childhood lacked that Hollywood lustre. Don't get me wrong, Americanisation is putrid in many ways, but their cinema has taught me a lot about 'the American Dream'. For starters, it's mowed lawns, neat moustaches and blooming dresses (which, sadly, masked a lot of racism and wreckless bravura). Secondly, it's unobtainable. Thirdly, if one cares to consider, it was living art. I'll get back to this.
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"Today this is my world
You'll be my girl
I'm awake
It's my world
Today this is my world
You'll be my girl
I'm awake
It's my world
Today this ain't my world
You're not my girl
I'm asleep
Goodnight world"

I don't like 'em.
Now, now, now, now ... I didn't say I hate love. I didn't say I hate family. I just hate weddings. The wedding that I photographed was great. Happy family, loving couple, cheery children and a few little rituals that I had not seen previously at a wedding. I've never been to a bad Wedding. However, I feel this is like saying "that's a very pretty dress" - pretty as it may be, I don't think I'll wear it myself.
Weddings, to me, seem unnecessary, expensive and exclusionary. I don't like being told that love isn't love unless it's recognised by a stranger. That it's less special unless you show-boat it infront of a crowd. That a flashy little ring symbolises eternal love. My dad lost his down the drain once, fished it out later. Eternal love. My parents are divorced and I don't blame the drain. I blame; Hollywood, money, stress and stupidity.
Biologically, humans fail at monogomy. An old saying says something like; "20% of Primate species are monogomous - one of which are humans. Even then, only 20% of humans are monogomous - most of which are crazy". Sadly, this fact isn't truth. In reality, only 2 species are described as 'True Monogomists'. That is to say; punishing infidelity, eternal care. 100% monogomous ... and no, Man is not one of them. Want to guess? Go on! Try it. They must be smart, right? They must have hands, surely. They must, in some way, remind us of ourselves! I bet it's the Chimps! No. Dolphins? No. Owls? No. Dogs? No.
Answer; Black Vultures & Angelfish.
Vultures are usually seen as evil, cunning beasts but gondarnit! They know more about love than you. Anglefish actually bind their skin together for life, at which point the male becomes nothing more than a sperm-producing organ. Romance!
Now, this doesn't mean I want to sleep around. I've never considered it. Instead, I want to prove my devotion through actions rather than through a stupid ceremony. Marriage was cooked by churches as a way to sell sex, if you ask me.
God doth proclaim; "No sex before marriage, or you shalt burn!"

Average Joseph doth reply; "Oh thy God! I loveth thee sex! I doth hate eternal damnaton! I shalt therefore give my body to the lord, have thy sex with mine wife and avoid doom! Genius!!"

Not genius, Joseph. You have handed yourself into the richest organisation on the planet, paving the way and promoting the ideals that kept it alive up until today - not because of your love of God. It's because of love of sex and fear of death. Basic. If the church owns sex through fear, it needs to sell it back to the public. The product is called MARRIAGE! Ta da!
That's all I have to say about that.
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"Screams and moans and bats and bones
Teenage monsters in haunted homes
The ghosts on the stair
The vampires bite
Better beware, there's a full moon tonight
Take a fresh rodent, some toadstools and weeds
And an old owl and the young one she breeds
Mix in seven legs of an eight-legged beast
Then you are all set for a cannibal feast"

Spooky is possibly my most used word, behind 'the', 'of', 'swiss' and 'and'. Halloween was swarming with the word spooky, but lacked the feeling. Caitlin's party had a creepy, big head scarecrow looking fellow in the garden. Spooky snacks in the shape of ghosts and the alcohol was maybe haunted. It made people moan and stumble like Zombies. All alcohol is cursed.
Knightrider is now on television.
It was a good night. I actually told almost all stories to do with one of my phobias; dolls & stuffed toys. It took about 2 hours to get it all out. In my audience were Caitlin, her mum, Karina, Rob... Dave maybe. I can't remember. I was into it. Deeply remembering what made me so fearful of life. Namely, my brother ... accompanied by coincidence and freakish toy-makers.
Back to what I said in my opening, 'the American Dream' was living art. A complete society that was certain it was perfect. Infact, like any living organism. Each cell uniformly acting similar, trying to avoid the Ghetto-cancer and forming their own Nuclear families - duplicating into new cells, spreading, expanding. I like the satire and beauty of what they (superficially) stood for. The moustaches, suits, smiles, dialogue.
... and remember, I ain't a fink - dig? Dandy baby, now it's scadoodlesville.


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