About Me

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I'm Ryan, and I don't particularly understand the importance of a Blog... but I'll Blog away anyway. Positively, it gives me a wall to talk to. I like having formation and fluency in my day. 'About Me'?... just read the Blog.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Dr. Manhattan

"Looking out the door I see the rain fall upon the funeral mourners
Parading in a wake of sad relations as their shoes fill up with water
Maybe I'm too young
To keep good love from going wrong
But tonight, you're on my mind so
You never know
Too young to hold on
And too old to just break free and run
He has no-one."

Don't you hate drawing parallels between yourself and something so depressing as this. I love 'Watchmen' to the point of rereading so many times... I often get compulsions to find a single image I remember from my first read through. I model so much of my photography after it's art; reflections, silhouettes, contrast, extreme colours... or occasionally extreme dulls. I love it so much and I hate the fact many people will never give it a run due to the fact it's a graphic novel, "What the fucks a graphic novel!? It's a comic book you faggot!"
I hate the fact that I feel socially absent even in the most social of occasions. I hate that I can laugh and feel like a jerk on the inside. I hate that I can make people laugh and feel like Pagliacci the Clown. Why do I feel so distant so often? Why do I crave solitude over romance? Why do I feel such a parallel between myself and such an esoteric, unhuman fictional character found in Comic Book? Sadly, I lack the superhuman powers, intelligence... but I have the love of self-isolation, routine and over-analysis.

"The light is taking me to pieces."

Atleast I'm still human... and I do have fun. I still have that. Camping will be a good release. I hope everyone turns up and I can just relax for 3 days and the 2 nights...



  1. You gave me this song on your music mix with the YouTube links you sent me! I remember.
    Does writing your thoughts down like that when you're depressed help? Does having other people read them help?
    I feel the first one must, and the second one must even more.

  2. Yeah, it does.
    Of course, sometimes I'll write things that seem depressing that a really just bleak thoughts. They don't make me feel sad as much as they do sombre. I kind of enjoy sombre. Bleak is nice and often helps sell the message I find. I always feel refreshed after writing.
    ... and you're completely right, knowing people read this makes me feel better... knowing people have the time to come on over and pick at my brain a while.